well

um, I'm really needing to find a place to live. this living in a car deal isn't working for me.

Die Motherfucker Die Motherfucker Die MotherFucker Die Fool!

Cross-blog post.

Law of average; Karma; Comeuppance; Bundy Curse; in short, this was the worst week of the year, maybe in 2 yrs. death, theivery, homelessness.

Fuck Bernoulli's Law. Alby's right, I need a vacation. (lost a lot of shit, so read if you want to find out)

This week has been bad for everyone, but personally, it was Mars Hell for me. After my loss on thursday, I had high hopes to get back in the game friday by hedging myself in a Holdem tourney, only to lose out 1/3 into the time. Actually, b4 the holdem, 30 minutes before the thing started, i was still in my bed, oddly dreaming about poker (a sure sign of meltdown), where zombies would chase me unless i killed them with power hands like straight flush, and the nine spade was a recurring card.

I experienced first hand how crappy the rules for this tourn was, (did you know that Chris Moneymaker, WSOP 2003 champ, got his ass handed in a tourn here last month?) and took a break to get my fried rice dinner. Came back. Kenneth, my friend from old Bible school, had a seat open at his table. I still had about less than $200 of winnings in my wallet, so i was up to break in $60; instead, the bitch dealer handed me $80 of chips and 2 $10 bills. Somewhere in the next hand or so, i felt a cargo pkt and ruffled up the two bills, so i pulled out my wallet and stuffed the bills in there. Over the course of the night my luck for the table (none-machine/human-manual shuffling) dried up to near-nil, where I was down to about ten bucks after 3hrs of play. The room was starting to thing out, and our table was shrinking. What's left of us disbanded and took up slots on other tables. 5 minutes later, I'm bust. Ken fared well, garnering over $100 today. As I got up from the table and started to the cash pit, I felt my pockets and came to the sad realization that I was without wallet. That made my day of hell.

My wallet carried over 110 dollars of winnings, ID, student ID, movie discount/Albertsons/CVS discount cards, my bank debit/check card, $30 store credit from gamestop, as well as the essense of the wallet itself (JDM wallet, bitch!)

Recalling the hours of play, its hard to think when I dropped my wallet, or where my wallet was to begin with: it could have been in my lap, since the bitch dealer was a bitch; it could have been in my cargo pocket or the loose pockets in this Hollister shorts. There could have been numerous suspects that would notice my wallet and snatch it instead of staying on the table, except one instance comes to mind: fat bitch.

(man, jenny loved to talk about fat bitches, how she hated them). At the table, my left was kenny, with his sandbag-wall of chips in front of him, from when he hauled out everyone's money. To my right was this fat red-neck white bitch who was down on her luck and needed to rub this gold Palms Casino chip for her luck. One point at the table, the bitch got up and dissapeared for awhile, while she had barely any chips on her slot. When she came back, she got out of her table and sat on ther other side, behind/right of the dealer, so she could be with her companion (who owned the gold chip). Ken expressed concern that she was eyeing his chip stack tentatively, and he wouldn't put it by her to steal a wallet for money (because, white people are the most evil in the world, duh). Its the most logical conclusion given that these table areas are close quarters, and people rarely look down on the floor near seats, except for a chip rack or something. Given that, its mores likely that it was the fat bitch that took the money. Course, I'm not all that likely to rule out black people neither, but fat bitch was closer.

A rough description of culprit, except bitch was more white trash with red hair.

This is another rough description of suspect, on left.

more remotely is the suspect as a black male, but you can't rule it out yet.

Anyways, distraught about my loss, the people said the ass/bitch could have chucked the wallet in a receptacle. So, me and ken scanned all the trash cans in the vicinity (except the women's bathroom; fuck I bet it was there) No lukc. Finally, I gave up. God didn't smote me for gambling (there is none); I'll put more backing under the "Bundy Curse schooled you (Al Bundy's theory of one's good fortune will be followed by twice bad fortune)" or more common "law of averages (all those winnings had to come back down somehow) plus the "nature of man (greed)".

Die Motherfucker Die Motherfucker Die! I hated everything as I left the colossal building of Derby Lane. Nothing felt benevolent in the world. Everyone was out to steal if they couldn't earn. Ken told me someone stole his VW antenna, and I told him he should pass on the burden. Why? everyone gets jewed. Might as well jew someone else. There is no happiness, happiness in one will breed sorrow in another (Zero Summer Theory). Looking at the Derby in the rearview mirror as I rolled out, I made a mental note to biasly hate white trash and fat chicks.

Its not just about me. Sanctuary in Lan Minez (game cafe) and a round of Doom 3/ CS took my mind off of the worst day that I rolled off the wrong bedside. I alled my confidente to vent, since i was on max pressure in my boiling point. van dropped the news about brian's passing from his battle with cancer and malignment tumors. I never knew brian to the extent that van knew him, but I did spend some time with the guy, and he was a very interesting character; he has lived through one of the most hardships we will seldom face. He won once, but I guess sometimes evil doesn't quit. Brian passed away on Wednesday in Hawaii, where he spent it in the care of his beloved girlfriend. I understand how the guys up north are dealing, since I had the same feelings when my grandfather passed away and I went apeshit in my apt and punched a hole in the wall. I am deeply saddened by the emptiness that was once occupied by memories of brian, as I did with Jackie back in Spring. But, the day has passed. Life is one step at a time.

Transformers: Car dbls as homeless shelter. I got back to the house, and found it to be dead-bolt locked. My stupid self-centered cousin locked up, and here I was, standing outside the door, with the defective deadbolt key. Man, its not my day for sure. I bored myself from 5am to 7 at Walmart to pass the time, even though I was surprisingly tired (given that I woke at noon). Then I drove back to the house, and slept in the car till Jojo went to work and I could get back inside.

To finalize the last item to clinch this as the most horrible week ever, (much like Rob Livingston's perptual worst day feeling in Office Space), for the 5th time since the season started, my VCE did NOT record the Stargate shows! This is getting fucking pissed. Who the fuck is turning on the vcr? I set the channels for Teen titans on saturday, and mad sure I turned off the Vcr, and I come back and someone turned it back on again! Now, someone is going to die. Don't you dare belive I keep that Beretta in my storage suitcase for no damn reason. There is a reason I smuggled that shit from Taiwan: so I can Shoot the fuck outta someone with no remorse. Brian knows what I mean since I shot him in the leg. I don't give a fuck about people now, everyone is out for themselves. Might as well blind them b4 they run amuck.

PS, for the first time (saturday) , I lost $60 from the nest egg; I'm now officially $60 in the red. And I still need to find a place to live. Also, I'm living on credit cards till I can get to the bank.

sorry for the missed post

this damn blogger went apeshit on me... i'm geting kicked outta the house, so i need to find a place to live, and i need to finish my essay for college, but thats not really coming very well right now.... damnit.

fcuk

no limit 100/200 play holdem sucks balzac. I came in 12k, went down, then up to 26k, now I'm back near 15k

i bet...

that I could conceive a female blog journal, and post nothing but pictures of a hot girl with clubbing pictures, and i would get hundreds of hits a day. such is the life of cam-whores.

my life in hold'em

I've been playing Online Holdem when I get really bored at night. so far I've amassed around twenty nine thousand play dollars. But today, as I post, I'm in a table where a player JimBari is eating up the table hands. In 50 minutes, he's gone from 2,000 to 14,000. Its sick. Sometimes its sleeper cards too. I don't know. I'm still getting used to strategizing hands. Most of these play tables just bet no matter what, and then bet crazy when they have something good, so I can decipher what they have, and fold. But sometimes everyone goes crazy and bets all-in pre-flop. I swear, this game is stupid.

also, its graduation time in Gainesville, and angela is grad'ing from there (I think, given projected graduation times). I find that she is really some elusive girl, whos fancy can dart from one suitor to the next. To make anecdotes to tv, she would be the Shelly in that 70's show (if you can figure out who Shelly is) I haven't spoken to her since Feb or so, but thats prolly since i burned that bridge and theres nothing left to get back, except maybe the Mario Party game I let her take to Boston so she wouldn't get bored, but thats pretty much it. Life in gainesville has waned too as there maintains less and less reason to go back with each semester. The onl reasons I would ever venture back to the campus area would be 1) party, 2) lan games 3) drink night 4) watch videos on van's tivo (I mean, computer). Other than that, I've grown fond of the sendentary life here, sans job, sans money, sans life outside the bubble, but thats come to be expected when you've surpassed school and everyone else is either far away or in school.

Stupid Literary Analyses

Back in 8th grade, we went from just spelling lessons to reviewing "anne frank." Lets just say I sucked at trying to make up some bullshit point of view for every work of literatre and poetry. I'm very sure that the Stupid "Hollow Men" poem by Frost can not be viewed like the "Wizard of Oz," yet thats what my group did.

Its not just works either. What about songs. What idiot in their right mind would try to create an analysis for a song other than its face value? Is there supposed to be depth, deep inner thought with "American Pie" (The song, not the XXX Movie). I don't think so. Well, maybe.

Which brings me to todays song of the day. Hallelujah By Cohen. Covered by several artists including KD Lang, Jeff Buckley (West Wing song), and John Cale (Shrek). I thought it was about god or hymns or something, but someone took a different view and said that it really was a euphanism for a girl ripping the heart out of a boy. You google it and tell me what you think.

What If

Do you find it odd that I can be more aroused loitering at a Hollister & Co. store, surveying the eyecandy, than at famous strip club Mons Venus, with their prime cut dancers and lap dances? Yes, maybe its because I know that the dancers are doing a job, so knowing that you can pay them to gyrate on you isn't as fullfilling enough; and you're pretty much uncertain about everyone's age at teh club, and most likely if you think they have boobjobs, they do. At these surfer co. stores, like AE, A&F, Aeropostale,Hollister, etc., girls in short shorts and tight shirts promenade around the aisles, looking for even shorter shorts and even tighter shirts. This is a different departure from Forever 21, where the name of the game is slut slut slut and cheap. Sure, there are hot girls there too, but they come in the "high-maintenance" area vibe; plus, theres no men's section to give me an excuse to be there. I also have a vibe for the surfer style girls, ie, the aforementioned stores, sans XXI. But mostly, its for the Hollister store, because the dark ambient light puts the women in a soft glow thats more arousing, than the hard lighting associated with the other surfer stores. thus, I always pass through hollister and linger inside the store more often than the other stores, becasue the girls are nice, and most likely younger than me, and still thin. nice legs too.

also, I find that, with an enticing picture, ppl will start flirting with you. like with this one
I used this picture as a profile for one of the online poker casinos, and random guys start chatting me up while hands are going... (yes, this girls hot jailbait, isn't she). Makes me realize, guys are dicks, they want sex. luckily, i've transcended that urge, and embraced the words of Nietzche. Which is why i don't get turned-on fervently at Mons Venus.